Journey of healing and discovery

Navigating life after stillbirth

green mosaic heart on bed of leaves

Dedicated to our baby girl Hannah

The priceless gift, warmest soul we knew for 9 months and lost. Forever in our hearts.

Svitlana Muzyka Svitlana Muzyka

Hannah’s story

Happy Baby! This is how doctors referred to Hannah at all of my prenatal appointments. Always healthy, always active—a happy baby indeed.

I learned I was pregnant while home alone, waiting for my husband to return from his business trip. Anxious and excited, I couldn’t wait to share the news that we were about to begin our pregnancy journey and soon embark on a new adventure as parents. I decided to wait for his return instead of telling him on the phone. Once he was home, I shared the news, and he was thrilled, we hugged and discussed what we are about to go through. And thus, our journey began.

We started looking at the “What to Expect” app weekly, establishing a routine of waking up on Mondays to learn what “fruit” our baby was that week. We affectionately called her by her fruit name each week, showering her with love and sharing our hopes for what’s to come. Morning sickness and food aversions soon arrived, prompting us to find new ways to keep me fed and rested.

After all the challenges navigating the Canadian healthcare system and finally settled with the maternity clinic nearby and had our first appointment. No doctor would see us this time; it was our 10th week, and we had an ultrasound scheduled. There she was, so small yet so active, moving and kicking her little legs. The experience of seeing her at this age, and seeing her little limbs, her head and hearing heartbeat changed us for life.

During week 11, on a sunny Thursday, we met the doctor for the first time—one of many we would see during the process. There were a few questions from the doctor at that time, and referrals for blood work, as well as genetics testing. The highlight of the week was hearing our baby's heartbeat through the Doppler monitor. That 158 bpm pulse was such an incredible sound! Fifteen minutes later, we were on our way back home.
Tests came back normal, apart from some lower ferritin levels with normal hemoglobin, so as I was told - nothing to worry about, genetics testing also came back good. So, with that, I was told that everything is going smooth, and any symptoms are just common thing that can happen during pregnancy.

Pregnancy wasn’t easy. After the first trimester passed, we went to see our baby again at week 16, this time through a specialized ultrasound service, just to get some pictures and hear our baby girl, as, normally, there are only two ultrasounds being done during pregnancy here in Canada.

As the time went by, we visited the maternity clinic once a month and had another ultrasound at week 20. This one was longer; our baby was measured from all sides, and finally, the following week, we learned from one of the doctors that we were expecting a girl.
When I was leaving one of the appointments, the doctor said, “Enjoy your pregnancy honeymoon.” This being the second trimester, I should have felt better, but I kept being incredibly fatigued, as I later learned, it was probably due to low ferritin levels, and only after starting supplements did I begin to feel “alive” again.

Each week passed as we awaited our girl’s arrival—taking walks, enjoying our last weeks of alone, “just the two of us” time, doing prenatal yoga, buying baby clothes, and decorating her room. I was getting bigger, moving slower, but I was so happy to soon welcome our baby girl into this world.

By week 37, I knew I could go into labor any day, this being my first pregnancy, so I started packing.
Now, I was seeing a doctor once a week, listening to Hannah’s heartbeat, and spending a few minutes getting to know what to expect next. That week, I was sent for monitoring, just in case, as I seem to have had white coat hypertension that one of the doctor wanted to check out to make sure it’s nothing serious, and after a few hours at the baby monitoring, I was sent back home, reassured that everything was okay.

Week 38 came, and one of the doctors noticed a slight drop in my belly. It wasn’t alarming, but she recommended an ultrasound, just to check that our girl was still doing well, which would happen in week 39.

On October 17th, week 39, I went for my ultrasound, seeing my baby girl happily tucked in my belly. On October 18th, I was told that everything was normal, but considering that October 20th was my due date, I was informed that if I didn’t go into labor, I would be monitored and checked again on October 22nd.

It was the day before the due date, October 19th. It didn’t feel much different from any other third-trimester day, except I slept unusually well. It was windy and pouring rain; the raindrops hit our windows hard even for our rainy city. I woke up late, thinking my body needed rest in preparation for labor. 

After breakfast, I noticed our baby girl wasn’t as active as usual, but this had happened before, so I pushed away all negative thoughts. After a call with my parents, a heavy realization hit me—my baby hadn’t moved yet. My husband rushed into the room, seeing me sobbing, and tried his best to cheer me up. He gave me sugary coconut water, believing it would stimulate movement, as it is recommended in all the pamphlets and books, while at the same time calling the hospital’s maternity unit. They advised us to come in for monitoring, but their tone suggested we were worrying for nothing.

When we arrived at the hospital, the staff seemed relaxed, but I couldn’t stop sobbing. A nurse casually brought us to one of the rooms and suggested I get comfortable as we’ll stay for sometime for monitoring. We knew something wasn’t right when she took longer to find the heartbeat. Then, time froze—the nurse called for doctors, and they brought in an ultrasound machine. Again—no heartbeat. I remember that moment very vividly. I looked into my husband's eyes, and we both had a terrified expression, as if the ground had fallen away beneath us. A decision was made within seconds—an emergency C-section under general anesthesia in an attempt to save the baby, if the heartbeat was so low that it couldn’t be detected by the machines. A code pink was announced, and everything moved in slow motion after that as staff rushed to the surgery room. The room was cold and very bright, filled with people ready to take action. They explained each step while simultaneously taking my clothes off, pouring cold disinfectant on my belly, and placing an oxygen mask over my face. The last thing I remember was a man’s voice telling me that my neck was going to hurt a little. Then, I fell asleep.

As my husband would later tell me, he waited what seemed to be almost an hour while the doctors performed the C-section and attempted to resuscitate Hannah for half an hour. Unfortunately, their efforts were unsuccessful.

When I woke up, doctors were standing in front of me, explaining what had just happened—our baby girl didn’t make it. There was no evident cause for what occurred; Hannah looked healthy and well-nourished, the amniotic fluid was clear, and the placenta looked good —no signs of pathology.

Hannah is our first and only baby. She was born asleep on October 19, 2024. She lost her heartbeat a day before her due date: a full-term stillbirth. The cause remains unknown, but we are determined to find answers.

My husband and I understood that unexpected things could happen during pregnancy, but we were definitely not prepared for this to happen to us. Nobody is.
Usually, expecting parents are concerned and aware of risks during the first trimester of pregnancy when most miscarriages occur, and the statistics are well known and shared. Few, if any, are informed about full-term or close-to-full-term stillbirths.


Later that day nurses brought Hannah into our room, so that we could cuddle, take pictures and spend the night together. She took hand and foot prints, and cut a locket of her beautiful hair. That, and her name and measurements would be all that we could bring home instead of our baby.

This is our story, and the reason this website exists. Despite my love for photography and nature, I never had a reason to create a website or share my work. Sharing the story of our baby girl Hannah and promoting resources for expecting parents is now my purpose. I sought ways to tell our story in hopes of helping someone who may end up on this page.
By sharing our experience, I aim to highlight resources that should be promoted by healthcare providers to educate and support expecting mothers and fathers on ways to prevent stillbirth and to welcome a new happy baby into this world.

Read More
Svitlana Muzyka Svitlana Muzyka

Stillbirth resources

Resource List, or at least what we have located and identified as useful for us so far:

Emotional support

Stillbirth research and articles

Read More